No Biggie, The Common ‘Wealth’ Games Will be Great!

I have been trying to keep a positive attitude ever since the Common Wealth Games ’10 preparations (if we must call it that) started. And I still am trying my best to (In case you can’t see, I am saying that with a straight face).

Kalmadi may have pocketed every penny of the taxpayers’ money (okay fine, he spared 0.0000000000002% for the CWG, he isn’t that bad you see). But all said and done (literally), he means well. Our dear Mr. Kalmadi has set an ultimate example and an un-matched parameter for patriotism. All the ‘unfortunate’ incidents which led to all the countries pulling out of the Games was so that India outshines among the three countries that are participating, India, Lesotho and Somalia.

What? Somalia pulled out? That leaves us with India and Lesotho. Now at least we have an assured silver medal, if not gold. See, didn’t I tell you Kalmadi is a good man? He always means well. He is such a good man, that he even extended invitations for participation in the CWG to every other animal species and not only man. Mosquitoes and snakes have already accepted this invitation, but the other animals were too scared to participate due to unhygienic conditions (their hygiene levels are different from ours, you see).

I still believe Kalmadi is a good man. Oh yeah, and of course, Madam Dixit is a wonderful person too. Both of them have taken a stand for the anti-terrorism campaign. It is due to their effort, that we are not going to face any terrorism problem during the CWG because the terrorists said that they are going to skip CWG due to its un-liveable conditions and fear for their safety.

Aren’t all the organisers of the CWG just the most wonderful people? They’re doing so much for the welfare of the country. They tried to curb one of the major problems India faces-‘population’. But alas! The footbridge collapsed a little earlier than planned. But don’t you worry organisers-ji, your efforts are not going to go waste. ‘Dengue’ is doing the needful for you.

Organisers-ji have also ensured that nothing can go wrong. And even if anything does go wrong. They’ve dug out ample hiding space for us (come on, don’t tell me you haven’t seen the beautiful, picturesque bunkers they’ve made on the CP roads).

Madam Dixit is doing her bit of welfare too. By banning the blue-line buses, she’s ensuring that no one gets to work on time (or gets to work at all), and hence the Indian economy slows down (when did I say she was limiting the welfare to India?).

And who said they are ill-prepared? The wrestling event is already on. Mr. Kalmadi and Mr. Iyer are already rehearsing for it. Since Mr. Kalmadi is Jack of all trades, I’d probably put my money on him (and even if I don’t, he’d probably take it from me himself).

All said and done, I still believe the Games will be a success (still with a straight face). My family’s hard-earned money is lying in Kalmadi’s Swiss bank vault, but the Games will be great. There is hardly anyone participating (except India and Lesotho of course), but the games will be great. The stadiums are falling apart (come on, don’t they make for a wonderful heritage sight?), but the Games will be great. The traffic is going crazy (no no, it’s a wonderful opportunity to sit for about an hour and review all the swanky car models), but the Games will be great.

No biggie, Mr. Kalmadi and Madam Dixit, after all the efforts you’ve put in, the CWG will be great. Don’t you think?

courtesy google