For the many thoughts that come and go unannounced and the ones which refuse to budge out of my head…

Archive for the ‘Happy’ Category

Blog Resurrection…


Long time no write. I guess I’m not too surprised about the ill-presence on a blog considering the amount of things that went on in this span of time. Life for one has changed in many ways. In a span of a year, I’ve gone from becoming a graduate, mindless, jobless wreck to a spiritual yoga-loving freak, to a supposed intellectual media student, to an alcohol loving reckless, free-spirited woman and so on and more, later a (sort of) mature, ‘been-there-done-that’ overgrown (hardly) child…ahem..woman(?). 🙂

I missed blogging. I missed that longing urge to sit back and recount the happenings of the day/week/month and pen it (key it) down and watch it virtually immortalise on the web. And after being pestered and poked by my loved ones and more so that little voice in my head (that hates me more with every passing minute considering the royal ignorance it receives), here I am back to my long lost friend and mirror of my life- My blog.

Before I go on about the thoughts that I promise to share earlier on when I started the blog, I might as well keep this post about my life and the updates about it. As mentioned earlier, in a year I went from being this to that and that to anything and everything I could in an age where I’m not supposed to be doing anything significant so to say (no this isn’t the renaissance come on, that generation was different).

I was sort of enjoying anonymity for a while and well, didn’t really have the time for popularity really. Grad school isn’t really a cakewalk, and there are more compromises than surprises. Among the good stuff, I’m almost a pro at driving, (and yeah, wriggling my way out of chalans with a puppy face as well); mastered the art of pulling all-nighters, without a wink of sleep (yes, coffee is still my best friend); put on 8 kilos in a month (trust me that’s a huge achievement); discovered an inherent work OCD or workaholism, more so; and so on. More about which would follow on the blog. 🙂

So here I am, now a masters student (yes, I got there 😀 ), with metaphoric bruised knees from all the ‘growing up’ that has been shoved down my throat, trying to revive, rather resurrect my blog in coma for nearly a year. I am going to try my best at keeping up with the times and not let my blog die out now on, and well I can only hope it goes back to what it was when I first started and it gets all the love that it got all over again.

On that note, see you soon..
Cheers.. 🙂

Beauty in a Miracle



I often ask my father how I look when I try a new dress on. And he always replies with what I find rather unusual, ‘You look very pretty. But for me, that 5 pound baby covered in blood will always be the most beautiful.’

This often puzzled me. It was a tad heavy for a fourteen-year-old to understand. As I grew older, I asked my dad what this meant, when he finally told me when I was in my twenties…

“It was raining heavily that night. Your mother, then in her ninth month of pregnancy, was having several contractions and was in severe pain. The hospital was nearby, but going there would’ve taken too long, so we tried to call the doctor to our home.

A doctor and two nurses had arrived after an hour-long drive, for what would’ve taken merely 15 minutes otherwise. The rain didn’t stop and neither did your mom’s wailing.

I held your mom in my arms and lay her on the bed. She was at her heaviest best, but I didn’t feel a thing when I lifted her. All I wanted was for you two to be safe. Your mother leaked unfamiliar moans out of her pores in pain. I held her hand but I still felt as helpless as ever.

“The baby’s crowning. I can see the head.” One of the doctors said after making your mother push several times. I held your mother and wiped the sweat on her forehead every few seconds. She was being brave, and despite the pain, she tried to push you out with all her might.

After that eventful hour, the doctor held you in her arm and your mother fell into an unconscious state. There, in the doctor’s hands, was this little thing with blood all over its body and scratches of hair on its head. I asked the doctor if it was a girl or a boy and with a gloomy expression on her face, she said, “she isn’t breathing.”

My face fell. I went numb. It was like my world had come crashing down on me.

“Please do something, doctor.” I yelled in exasperation. At that moment the only thing I could be relieved about was your mother not being conscious.

The doctor kept you on the study table and rubbed your back and feet. Everyone in the room felt helpless, and watching the colour of your little body change, a tear rolled down my eye.

An hour passed by, the doctor now told the nurse to bring in a vessel full of hot water to dip a towel to rub on your chest. As time went by, she felt more and more restless.

Your mother was conscious now. And after telling her what happened she began to wail incessantly.

The doctor wrapped you in a blanket and took you to another room. Three hours had passed. And the nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said, ‘please pray for a miracle to happen’.

The doctor kept you on a higher platform, and rubbed your chest continuously. We had almost given up hope.

In a desperate attempt the doctor dipped her rubber-glove covered hands in the warm water to clean it. While rubbing your chest with one hand, she pinched your tiny nose and after a brief look at the sky in what was the briefest prayer ever, she brought her mouth close to yours and breathed into it. She kept doing that for a few minutes, until a miracle happened. All of a sudden you gave a meek cough, and a viscous liquid came gushing out of your mouth.

That sight I can never forget- your mother’s smile amid her tears and the sound of you crying from the other room.

The doctor brought you in, smiling, and gave you to your mother saying, “I’ll let you hold her before the nurse cleans her up.”

I had never seen that expression on your mother’s face before that day, it was full of joy, relief and tiredness. She gave you to me after she cajoled you and you stopped crying.

I had held you for the first time that moment. I could never be more thankful to God for giving me what was in my arms. You were still covered in a slimy liquid, your eyes still closed and you were wrapped in a towel. I rocked you gently a few times and I saw calmness on your face. It was that instant that I realised that, to me that was the most beautiful sight ever. The life that ran through your veins, that calm expression on your face, that beautiful little nose and mouth through which I could feel a mild breath pass through; it was all so beautiful.

For me beauty was in the life that I could feel in you, one which had given me more joy than I could ever imagine; beauty was in the eyes of your mother which cried and smiled at the same time; beauty was in the miracle that I had just witnessed. And in my eyes you will always be the most beautiful when I held you in my arms and felt you breath.

From that day on, I found beauty in every smile, every laugh, and every movement of yours. Because you were my miracle baby and whenever I saw you I knew what real beauty meant to me.

 What my father often told me was crystal clear to me now. I felt a little happy tear roll down my eye. My perception of ‘real beauty’ changed after my father narrated this story of the beauty in a miracle.

These are a Few of my Favourite Things…


Remember the song from ‘Sound of Music‘, ‘My favourite things‘?

Well sometimes you just need your version of that song when you’re feeling sad.

Here’s my version: 😉

(you can hum it to the tune for better effects 😉 )

🙂 Raindrops on my face, and all books well-written

Bright coloured stuff toys, and chocolates from Britain

Phone’s flashing messages, all shades of pink

These are a few of my favourite things… 🙂

~

🙂 Dreams in the daytime, and dogs unlike poodles

Sea shells and hair gels, and pen-pencil doodles

White diamond, white gold, jewellery and bling

These are a few of my favourite things… 🙂

~

🙂 Shops with hot dresses, and prices with slashes

Hot shoes and high heels, bank balance with cashes

Phone conversations, and all clear skin

These are a few of my favourite things… 🙂

~

When I need rights

When my scores stink

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things,

🙂 And then I don’t feel so bad. 🙂

 

My favourite things...

You can try making your version too, just making it is so much fun, it’s half the job done. 😀

My Dog, ‘Buddy’-More Human than any Human can be


 

My dog, Buddy, as a puppy

My 4-year old Golden Labrador Retriever, Buddy, is the most adorable creature ever. The ‘ego’-less being that he is, he rarely gets angry and never judges. He’s almost more human than the humans in the house. And most of all, he gives love unconditionally.

 

Buddy's paw shake-cum-high five

We share this special bond with each other, almost like one of a brother or sometimes even a baby, and have our unique ways of communicating. He can sense when I’m low or just need someone and comes and puts his head on my lap or licks my palm showing his affection. Sometimes he puts his paw on my arm as a sign of reassurance. It’s the most amazing feeling when your pet understands you. He had his head on my lap once when I gently pet his forehead, and before I knew it, this little baby was fast asleep.

Yesterday, in the evening, he was getting really scared of some crackers burning nearby. He ran to me panting and fretting, and as usual I held his paw and sat down with him. Before I knew it, he creped up to my lap and held my arms tightly with is paws, and I hugged him with reassurance that everything’s going to be fine. The panting stopped and mild breath thereafter felt like a sigh of relief.

 

A slightly frightened Buddy

Sometimes they seem helpless and you feel like protecting them like as if a baby, sometimes you feel dependant on them to express or let out a pent up emotion, sometimes you just need them around for that immense joy they give, and most of all they’re the only ones who’ll always give you unconditional love.

Pets truly are the most precious and special.

 

Buddy's head on my lap

To Chennai, With Love


This post was selected for BlogAdda’s Tangy Tuesday picks on 28th September ’10

It isn’t the best city in the country. The weather isn’t what I’d look forward to. The people aren’t all extremely welcoming or non-judgemental. But just four days in Chennai with K made it one of my favourite places.

The feeling started to crop in the moment I spotted that familiar face at the airport. K stood there looking through the glass, at a clumsy me trying to handle my baggage off the conveyor belt on to the trolley. Two years with K, and it still feels like love at first sight whenever I see him.

The tightest hug ever, dissolved all the little embarrassment of being spotted in a candid moment.

In no time after that we were in his masculine and rustic open Jeep (aka, his baby), driving around town to reach the hotel. K is a brilliant driver, and was probably also trying to show off his driving skills. And it did work, must say. 😉

The next morning we braced ourselves for an entire day at the video game parlour, ‘Blur‘ (yes, I love video games, I almost become a 10-year old boy when it comes to video games). Sometimes all you have to do to feel happy is bring back that childhood feeling of playfulness. K likes to believe that he beat me at bowling, his claim being that the one with the lower score wins, but I know I won, fair and square (and of course, fluke). It’s not really male ego, but more of the adorable-ness, I’d say. 😛

The next day we hogged on sizzlers and brownies. We aren’t the most dignified when it comes to food. And I’m not always the shy woman who doesn’t like to be a glutton in front of a man. If you’ve got it (the skills to eat like a pig), then you’ve got to flaunt it.

Sometimes I find little things like snuggling and watching a movie on a laptop and sipping coke, to be the most romantic things ever. ‘500 Days of Summer‘- not really the greatest movie ever made, but definitely one of the most enjoyable movies.

The day that followed, K showed me around (rather proudly at that) Loyola College. One of the most magnificent structures I saw in Chennai. I loved seeing that expression on his face, clearly saying ‘see how beautiful my college is’. 🙂

K’s Jeep is a sight in itself. Just driving around in it feels like you’re in a safari (not the SUV, I mean the one you do in a jungle).

My last day, involved us waking up at four in the morning and going to the beach to watch the sunrise. One of the most beautiful sights in the world is undoubtedly the sunrise/sunset. And when you have someone to watch it with, it just makes it all the more worthwhile. You can almost hear invisible violinists playing in the background.

A buffet breakfast at the Taj, was the best way to savour the pleasures of watching the sunrise, and a perfect way to end a wonderful trip. Next stop, departure terminal at the airport, and off to Delhi.

There is a lot more that I did in those four days and a lot more places that I visited, but if I start to pen down all of that, It’ll probably suck-up space sufficient for a hundred posts.

I did come with my set of apprehensions. I did have a lot of hangups about how the place and people here would be. But never did I foresee all the fun I had, and the happiness I brought back with me. I’m not very quick to love anything, but the place changed a little bit of that in me.

I may be biased because of K, but this was one of my best holidays ever. I may not remember it for it’s architecture, weather or people. But Chennai would always have a special place in my heart, for bringing back that childlike feeling of playfulness, for breaking barriers of our so-called societal norms and going on my own to meet my beloved, for giving me joy in the simplest things like the wind blowing in my face while being driven in an open Jeep and snuggling and watching a movie, and most of all for making me fall in love with K every day. 🙂

Almost Sunrise

And that’s all women need, to be kept happy…


For all the guys with that one eternal question, ‘What do they do to keep a woman happy?’. Women aren’t really as complicated as you think they are. Trust me, it really doesn’t take much to make a woman happy. And it’s really not about the expensive gifts and the knight-in-shining-armour-ish conduct (though we would want that sometimes). But it’s the simple things in life that we love the most.

We do love complements and yes, we would want to be complemented all the time. But what we truly want, and would be the greatest complement for us is, that you should have eyes only for us. For instance, we’d simply love it, if a woman walks by, looking stunning as ever and you just don’t even, as much as glance at her and continue your conversation with us, that would truly make us feel special.

The popular phrase, ‘it’s the thought that matters’ aptly applies here. We do love those expensive gifts once in a while, but sometimes a heartfelt letter or card, a single red rose, a self-sung song, or just a kiss on the forehead mean so much more than those exorbitantly priced goodies. You just have to know when to give it, and trust me, you would.

We know remembering dates is our forte, but you just CANNOT afford to forget an important date (like a birthday or anniversary) and expect us to forgive you. The least you can do is be the first one to wish us or just do something special for us on that day.

When we have a problem and come to you to rant about it, we need to be heard. And not just heard, you need to listen to us. We don’t want you to give us expert advice or oodles of pity and we certainly don’t want you to tell us to ‘just chill’ and that ‘it’s no big deal’. The least you can do is pretend to listen. You just have to switch off the TV, or pull out your iPod headphones and give us a little attention. As long as we feel that we’re being listened to and not just heard, and as long as we can feel even a wee bit of empathy, our problem is almost over.

And like I said before, it’s the small things in life we love the most. A simple text message during the day, saying ‘I love you’, a tight, comforting hug when we need it the most, a complement about the way we look on a bad hair day, a walk in the pouring rain, and so many more of those little things are things which we love the most. And ultimately, that’s all women need to be kept happy. 🙂

To Love who you are and be ‘Glee’-ful…


Today was the season finale of ‘Glee’, my favourite show, ever since the second season of ‘Castle’ ended (all this by Indian time).
For those of you who don’t know, Glee is about a group of school kids who belong to a school show choir and their optimistic teacher’s attempts to make them find themselves.
I’ve always loved Glee for the splendid performances and the brilliant song covers and the fact that even though I am not particularly fond of musicals, this show has something special about it that makes me love it so much.
But more than anything else it has a message. It tells you that, no matter who you are, what others think of you, or where you come from, you are an individual and are special in your own way.
Their coach, Will Schuster, did do a good job of transforming nobodies into somebodies and those who thought they were somebodies (and apparently weren’t) into someone who they really were.
It didn’t have a movie-like ending of the underdogs winning the final competition. In fact the team in question, ‘New Directions’ didn’t stand anywhere in the competition. But no matter what direction the competition took, I truly believe (and so would most of us) that it was a happy ending.
Because, at the end of the day they learnt, that no matter who wins, all that counts is the fact that they put their heart and soul into what they did and loved doing and enjoyed it. It is the journey that matters and not the destination and if the journey was great, no one needs to care about the destination.
In the end they all found the true meaning of happiness because they found friends, found love, found their strengths and weaknesses, and most of all, they found themselves, who they truly are.
The initial part of the show reminded me of my days at middle school, when I hated who I was and wished like hell that I could be special. And it took me three years thereafter to change my outlook and love who I was, because no matter who others thought me to be I knew I was special in my own unique way.
And this very idea was reinforced into me by this very show.
So all those who’ve been watching ‘Glee’ (and even those who have not), if you’ve ever felt that you wanted to be someone else, or weren’t good enough, think again.
Never be afraid to be who you are, your true self.
Because only then would you truly find ‘glee’ 🙂
The final performance by the Glee club group New Directions- Journey Medley. 🙂