For the many thoughts that come and go unannounced and the ones which refuse to budge out of my head…

None of These in 2011, Please

So here goes, a list of some of the things I don’t want to see in the next year:

~

~Reality shows– Oh for God’s sake I DO NOT care about thirty people screaming about, and sleeping around, locked in a house. I DO NOT want to see women who forgot where there lips are and put lip-gloss all over their body to grab male-attention. I DO NOT care if you think your spouse is hitting on every other human species except you and you want to test their loyalty. Please STOP it, it’s getting a bit too much now.

~Scams- There was IPL, then there was CWG, then 2G, then Adarsh, then the tapes and so on. This year we had more scams than the number of slums in our country. I don’t know which one’s worse, but at least the slums have given shelter to many.

~More soap operas– We’ve already had enough with the minors getting married, the blind girl getting married, the crippled girl getting married, the unwanted daughter, the retarded son, the eternal weeping separated couple, the 1000 year old great great grandmother, and so on. Adding to that would just make us want to wish there were dinosaurs on this planet again.

~The Twilight series- The love story of a sad mannequinΒ and a creepy albino log of wood has been stretched to a point where it’s about to snap, and after gagging several times I’m on the verge of throwing up all my intestine’s contents.

~Power cuts- Just a wee bit more efficient power supply would do. Candle-light dinners are not as fun when there’s no electricity, you know.

~Random statuses on Facebook- I’m really not interested in the fact that you’re ‘sleeping’, ‘bored’, ‘disgusted’, ‘frustrated’, ‘sooooo happy’, angry, pooping, breathing, walking, talking, running late, having ice cream and so on… Please let those thoughts be where it belongs- in your head.

~Commercial service messages- No. I DO NOT want a house in NCR, I DO NOT want a vibrating belt tummy trimmer, I DO NOT want wallpapers of ‘hot babes’, I DO NOT want a 2% discount on a beauty treatment, I DO NOT want special massage body oil, and I certainly DO NOT want to ‘make new friends’ and chat with them. Dear Mr. service provider, please stop cluttering my inbox.

~SMS language– ‘ASAP’, ‘ATM’, ‘SMS’ is still tolerable. But does it really hurt your fingers that much to write ‘OK’ instead of ‘K’ and how on earth does ‘pikcha’ sound cooler than ‘picture’? Writing ‘ma’ instead of ‘my’ does not make you cool, Mr. Wannabe, and neither does your laziness in typing even one extraΒ character do.

~Β Over-hyped films, flop films, and over-hyped flop films– There was ‘Kites’, ‘Khelein hum jee jaan se’, ‘Hisss’, ‘I hate luv storryys’, ‘Aisha’, ‘Guzarish’, ‘Ravan’, ‘Anjaana Anjaani’ and just so many of those films which left me spellbound at the amount of torture these films inflicted on the audience. Dear directors, even the audience has developed a brain, it’s high time you do so too.

~Bitchiness on Koffee with Karan- So we did get those cheap thrills when we saw Sonam Kapoor bad mouthing Shobha De and the entire film industry’s dress-sense, and when Kareena Kapoor commented on Priyanka Chopra’s accent. But seriously, we do not care who hates whom and why any more.

~Inflation- With prices like these, at this rate, some day it would be cheaper to eat roti with gold rather than onions and garlic. Dear Government, you have to think of better ways of curbing over-population than killing people of starvation.

~Theories about the end of the world- Oh come on, the world will end when it has to. We can barely predict the next day’s weather accurately, let alone disasters big enough to end the world. So stop anticipating the fact and killing yourself everyday for it.

~

And with that, I hope the next year proves to be better than this one, and this year leaves most of the above things behind and doesn’t take it with it into the next year. πŸ™‚

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Comments on: "None of These in 2011, Please" (31)

  1. bloddy why dont more people read you and ur articles.. pura ka pura duniya ka system change ho jaega… World would be so much more nicer awesomer..

    • Thanks so much, Chaplot. πŸ™‚
      I still wish the world to be a better place.
      But for now I can only hope to do so. 😐

  2. Wow! so true. Wish you a very Happy New Year Arushi. I guess next year, this time, we should revisit this blog post and see how 2011 fared. Love and Hugs.

    • Thanks so much, Poornima Di.. Wish you a very very Happy new year too.. πŸ™‚
      I’m just keeping my fingers crossed about this year for now..
      Hopefully… I’ll have a tiny little wee bit of hope to at least see one of those things happening.. :-/
      Thanks once again, Poornima Di
      Lots of love and big hugs.. πŸ™‚

  3. Radhika Kapil said:

    love u girl !!! the right sarcasm n the right taint at the right place….. u’r simply too awesome n so is this blog !! πŸ™‚

    • Thank you so very much Radhika.. πŸ˜€
      I feel all good about myself now… πŸ™‚
      Love you and wish you an awesome new year..
      Hugs.. πŸ˜€

  4. Radhika Kapil said:

    love u girl !!! the right sarcasm and the right taunt at the right place….. u’r simply too awesome girl n so is this blog !

  5. “This year we had more scams than the number of slums in our country. I don’t know which -one’s worse, but at least the slums have given shelter to many.” β€” brilliantly expressed.
    Nice article. The SMS lingo had to be pointed out. It’s not at all cool to write the shortened spellings. At least, I’ve abandoned the usage ever since I started writing.
    The End of the World as well. Too much unnecessary hype over it.
    Ought to have mentioned something on India TV, and television astrology as well.
    But good sarcasm, nonetheless. Came to your blog after finding you are a fellow fool at 21 Fools πŸ™‚

    • Thanks so much Tanay. πŸ™‚
      The SMS language is something I’ve never had the appreciation for. My friend’s have been mocking me for sending ‘LMSs’ instead of SMSs. πŸ˜›

      As much as I hate television astrology, India TV is where I get my cheap thrills from. πŸ˜›
      I’m not completely done with it yet, but next year that’ll surely be on my list. πŸ˜›

      Anyway, thanks once again.
      and a very Happy New Year. πŸ™‚

  6. nice nice….i lyk.. tws fun 2 read it.. vaise u hd forcd me 2 read it bt m glad u did… gr8going soulsis… hey n u gta rite sumthng bou me also…. plzzzzzz!!!!

    • Haha.. πŸ˜€
      thank you.. πŸ™‚
      and yes.. it’s due..
      and it’ll come soon.. πŸ˜‰
      hugs.. πŸ™‚

  7. This is by far my favourite post of yours. Really funny!!especially the twilight one! Creepy albino log of wood…priceless!

    • Thank you so much KB. πŸ™‚
      And yes about Twilight… It’s straight from the heart.. πŸ˜›
      Hugs.. πŸ™‚

  8. I’ve heard that Spanish soap operas are more cheesy compared to the ones we have here.

    Reality shows…hmm…Think about it- channel V/MTV/Bindaas, colours, sony, star world, etc. have reality shows on most of the times.
    ((If you think about it, this is the unemployment side effect. You don’t work so you sit home and watch TV, therefore out of boredom people will watch TV and producers counts that at TRP))

    Twilight needs to be spanked!!!

    Why would you NOT need hot babes wallpap…oh Yeah :D. My Bad πŸ˜›

    Scams? If you think about it, if Lalit Modi did CWG, we would atleast had a great show for the world.

    What’s power cuts? We still have ’em in the cities? BTW- in Japan there was about 7 milli second power loss and because of it there was a million dollar loss resulting in sudden increase in FLASH NAND chips. Recent event- Toshiba.

    No no no!!1 We want more overhyped movies. Think about it. With lot of spam tv stuff (lol) people might reach a frustration point that might just get ANY job.

    Only Rajnikanth can do SMS lingo without changing the spelling. YEAH!!!

    Karan? He’s not THAT bad…compared to *cough*cough*Farah*cough*

    We stop all this, its as good as the end of the world.

    • *mentally notes NEVER to watch Spanish soap operas* 😐

      And I’ll forward all the ‘hot babes’ wallpaper messages to your blog. πŸ˜›

      I’m still praying all this stop.. and if you ever happen to bump into Stephanie Mayer, please gag and kidnap her, you’ll do a favour to humanity. πŸ˜€

      Anyway, hope all you expect in this year happen. *fingers crossed*
      Wish you a very very very Happy new year. πŸ™‚
      Cheers.. πŸ™‚

  9. Amen to all those and some! Here’s hoping you have a very Happy New 2011 without any of the above mentioned things πŸ™‚

  10. LOL
    i dont want any of those in 2011 too!
    But it seems its giong to get more n more of those crappy things!
    Did you hear they are makin 2 movies out of Breaking Dawn? I mean, what crime have we normal human beings have done to bear such a torture!!!

    Defiant Princess
    http://khanvibes.blogspot.com/

    • Are you serious??? :-/
      NOOOOOOO…..
      How can they do this?? Or maybe as the Hindu’s say, this IS the Kalyug. πŸ˜›
      Anyway.. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope that the series gets over and DONE soon.. :-/
      And the above things don’t happen any more.. Or else we’ll just have to go book houses on the moon… 😦
      Anyway, wish you a happy (and Twilight free) new year.. πŸ™‚
      Cheers.. πŸ™‚

  11. Exactly my thoughts. πŸ˜€
    Happy new year!

  12. haha..you have very nicely used sarcasm to drive home the point..really well written..and hopefully things will improve in the next year πŸ™‚ happy new year to you too …

  13. My first visit here πŸ™‚ and I loved this post. But wait.. U don’t want bitchiness on KK3?? Why ever not? It makes life interesting, doesn’t it? πŸ˜‰

    • Thank you so much Writerzblock. πŸ˜€
      Hehe.. I did have the cheap thrills on Koffee with Karan.. but I guess too much of everything is bad.. πŸ˜›

  14. Oh happy new year by the way πŸ™‚

  15. Don’t really want to disappoint you and not that am a pessimist, but most of these will be there no matter what! πŸ˜›

    And yes, Twilight is the most retarded movie; thank god you I find some who are not as crazy about it !

    Nice blog, will be here more πŸ™‚

    • I know.. I’m being a little too hopeful I guess.. 😐
      But there’s no harm in hoping.. Hopefully at least one of them would happen in about 10 to 15 years.. πŸ˜›
      Anyway, thank you so much, Saurav. πŸ™‚
      Do visit more often. πŸ™‚
      And wish you a very very Happy New Year. πŸ˜€

  16. kshitij said:

    That’s pretty darn good. Well done! Scrap the singer, be the writer!

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