For the many thoughts that come and go unannounced and the ones which refuse to budge out of my head…

Was  it all just a bad dream? Did my perfect life with all my friends and loved ones just take a drastic turn? I sat on the last desk of my college classroom, feeling numb. My hands trembling with what I just saw. My face fell, and for a while I couldn’t feel any emotion. AN saw the expression on my face and rushed towards me to grab my phone from my hand. It had a message from our teacher on the screen which said,

“I’m really sorry, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Tejaswee is no more.”

My best friend, Tejaswee, someone I had known for 11 years, was never going to come back. I couldn’t emote for a while when finally AN hugged me and we burst out crying. As we rushed to the hospital, my mom called me several times on my phone, but I had no energy left in me to even pick up the phone. Moreover, I hated the sight of that thing from then on for the bad news it brought to me. I wanted my mom, but I couldn’t bare to see my phone again.

AN picked up the phone and held it on my ear. While I couldn’t say a single word, all I did was listen, and my tears were the only thing that came out. AN held me as tight as she could and with numb faces we walked towards the hospital ward.

I hated my phone that day. I didn’t look at it for the next few days either. I couldn’t even reply to any of the messages which my friends sent as condolence. Usually it was her who called me most often, but just the thought of her name which would never flash on my screen again, made me sad and angry.

It took me a few days to gather myself. Everyday I wished for it to be a nightmare and get over with. But who knew, sometimes reality is worse than a nightmare.

I frequently went to her house, looking at her room, lying on her bed, pretending to talk to her, looking through her stuff.

One of those times I had gone to her house, and was looking through her stuff, I spotted her phone. Somehow I mustered up the courage to plug it into the charger and switch it on. I was scared to do so at first. I didn’t want to go through heartache. But there was a part of me that urged me to look into it.

I switched on the phone, and the first thing I saw was her wallpaper, which was a picture of both our hands which we had once taken in our college lawn. It reminded me of that day when the four of us, Tejaswee, AN, V and me, were together in that lawn and were making jokes and having fun, rolling over the grass like maniacs, not caring about the wide spectator-ship we had gathered. I smiled thinking about that day, it was one of those days in which we had a free class and had planned to explore the entire college for hideouts.

I looked further, and saw the call log. My number was the last received call on her phone. Life does take unexpected turns. Who knew that this would be the last time I would ever talk to her? In an instant, the last conversation we had began to play in my mind. It went something like this.

Me, “Stop being madam attention seeker, sweety, you’re scaring the hell out of all of us. Jokes apart, how do you feel now? Is there any improvement”

Tejaswee, “Don’t you worry I’ll be fine, just that my organs have enlarged and it hurts. But that’s okay, it’s just that I hate it so much, because I look so fat! ugh!”

Me, “Oh shut up. Silly girl. You better get okay soon. We have to finish making those crazy documentaries, and plan out our birthday we’re going to celebrate together.”

Tejaswee, “Arre don’t you worry, since I have nothing else to do I’m actually thinking about the guest-list and theme for our party. And don’t worry, the party’s going to be the best party ever.”

Me, “That it will. And the documentary has to be made with your magic hands.”

Tejaswee, “Achha listen, I’ve got to go now, time for some silly test again. Just remember to put a mosquito repellent cream whenever you go out, and please reduce your caffeine intake, it’s not good for you, sweety”

Me, “Dumbo, I will do that, don’t worry. But not before you’re back okay. Deal?”

Tejaswee, “We’ll see, I have to go now. Take care of yourself.”

Me, “Look who’s talking. You better get well soon okay. I love you sweety”

Tejaswee, “Muah! I will always love you, Roo” (‘Roo’ is a name only she called me)

Those last words kept playing in my mind, like a broken record. I wished I had recorded this conversation when it happened. But it was in a place far greater than that. It was engraved in my heart. In an instant as I thought about it, I broke into tears, thinking about our birthday we were supposed to celebrate together, and the fact that it would never ever happen now.

I kept staring at that call log and cried at the sight of our hands.

I shut the phone flap and tried to gather myself again. As I wiped my tears I opened the phone again. I opened the messages this time, and clicked the sent items folder. I only wanted to see the messages she had sent to me. I scrolled down further into the folder, ignoring many which were in fact sent to me, when finally I stopped at one particular message.

“Roo.. I’m taking revenge for all those times you nearly brought me into tears with those ultra lame and pathetically sad PJs of yours. 😛 (read the next message).”

And the second was this:

“Killer PJ……….

.

.

.

.

.

.

…….PJ arrested! :P”

The smile reappeared on my face, thinking about all those times I made PJs and she grudgingly tried to suppress her laughter but it ultimately led to all of us laughing in unison.

I still miss those times. And I still wish I could bring back those days. But I had to resign to the fact that those times would never come back. True, those days will never come back, but those memories will always be alive through her phone.

I realised how important my phone was, my faithful friend who saw me through my best and worst times. I opened the inbox in my own phone, and found that very same message. And all I felt thereafter, was that I would never let go of those memories which were inadvertently connected to my phone and hers.

This was the picture which was the wallpaper on her phone and now mine

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Comments on: "Of an Unforgettable Friend, Precious Memories, and a Phone" (52)

  1. Very touching! You write beautifully. I am all teary eyed. Best of luck with the contest. I did vote for you.

    • Thank you so much Porrnima Di.
      It took me hours to write this, because every time I tried to write about the phone conversation I couldn’t help but cry.
      For now I’m keeping my fingers crossed,
      thanks a tonne once again.
      Love and hugs.

  2. i dont know wat to say – i dont even want to imagine what you must have gone through – i love you arushi , its funny , we have never met , and i hope we do run into each other in the college sumday , but honestly , im sorry
    as sorry as sorry can be

    hug – a really tight one
    hang in there buddy
    lots of love
    devika

    • I’m sure we will run into each other soon.
      And I do love you too.
      Thanks so much for understanding.

      A big bear hug to you too.
      Love.

  3. Beautiful Roo. My vote is yours.

  4. Voted. I love that picture!

    • I love it too, IHM.
      It’s something I will cherish my whole life through.
      I never thought this picture would come to mean so much.
      Love you IHM.
      Big hugs.

  5. Arushi my vote is yours too ’cause it deserves one. Tejaswee’s memories have been lingering on in the blogosphere and her death will continue to haunt us. And this is a request…don’t vote for posts you do not like. Otherwise this contest will produce a very wrong kind of result. 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Samadrita.
      I’m glad you liked.
      I hope to keep Tejaswee’s memory alive always.
      Thanks once again.

  6. I can’t help but be proud of you. Voted.

  7. Very touching story!All the best for the contest.Thanks for voting me…voting u too 🙂

  8. great deserving post,
    keep it up.

  9. really touching ….am almost in tears .. no words to say anything else

  10. Very touched….voted too.

  11. I’m very very touched and I was sitting teary-eyed all through the story.

  12. awww… i can totally understand how much it can hurt if one loses such a lovin fren… i dont want to say i know hw it feels.. cos i dont – but i can understand in my own miniscule way… really sorry for you kidd.. bear hugs… TJ am sure misses ya too…

    this post is surely a toast to the fship that outlives death.. God bles`

  13. I know how it feels..I’ve lost a close friend too..It’s almost a year..Only thing I can tell you is your Tejaswee would n’t want you to cry over her,but remember her with a smile on your face.Today,tomorrow and every day of your life..

    • Thank you so much.
      I tell myself this all the time.
      I cherish all those times we spent together.
      And sometimes instead of being angry with God, I am thankful to him for giving me a friend like her.
      And all those moments with her bring a smile on my face.
      Thanks once again,
      Hugs.

  14. Painful and ultimate truth of life, well written .Come out of the pain it will make your friend happy.

    • Thank you.
      And I am coping up with it, it is taking time.
      But I do want to make her happy, so just thinking about the fact that she’s happy lessens the pain.

  15. What did she suffer from?…poor girl and poor you!…I hope you will learn to remember only her smile!

    • She contracted dengue hemorrhagic fever.. and that’s why she also told me to put a mosquito repellent cream..
      And yes.. I will always remember her bright, beautiful smile.
      Thanks a tonne.

  16. really touching description!

  17. I still remember that day, I walked into class all happy cause you had messaged me that TJ was improving. How happy i had been that time. And when i entered class i saw u n bong and everyone else in tears. Still with that stupid smile on my face i wondered what could have gone wrong, i just couldn’t imagine that we would ever lose tj, atleast not like this. And then i saw that sms. It took me good 5 mins to comprehend.
    While we were at the cremetorium it rained like hell, and we cried like crazy. I was worried about u, didnt want ur asthama to work up. COuldn’t live on if i lost u.
    I love this post chutki. Reminds me of the good days and the bad one. I still have her smses. Always asking me ‘which class?’, ‘which room?’, ‘is she there?’. Never could be on time could she? And now she is late tj.
    I love u

    • I love you too, AN. More than you can possibly imagine.
      And yeah.. that day still haunts me and brings back that pain.
      That day, at the crematorium, I had almost given up on life myself, I even stood outside in the rain when the last bit was going on because I just couldn’t bear to see her go.
      But then maybe it’s the strength she’s inadvertently giving us, or some divine power she holds today, that we still have the strength to hold on to this life.
      Thank you so much AN, I don’t know how I could’ve ever coped up with it without you.
      I still have those messages which she kept sending.
      Silly girl.. And one of them actually said, “Am I late? Like really late? How late am I?”
      This was the last day she came to college. Remember? The day both of us clapped when she entered and got into trouble. And yeah, now she’s actually late Tejaswee.
      I really miss that crazy little girl.
      Thanks once again AN?
      Loads and loads and loads of love and big bear hugs…

  18. Ohh!! so sorry..your this beautifully narrated true story really brought tears in my eyes, n the picture that you have put up here will always remind you that she is holding your hand wherever you are isn’t it, i would jus say that “TRUE FRIENDS, TRUE LIFE, TRUE WORDS, TRUE LOVE”, be brave ok, this the most deserving post..

    Best Regards..

    • Thank you so much, Gautam.
      And I really loved the way you put it.
      Next time whenever I see this picture, I’ll always remember that she’s looking out for me, and holding my hand in always.
      Thanks once again, Gautam.
      I’m glad you liked it.
      It means a lot, because it’s so close to my heart.
      Best Regards.

  19. Beautifully written…the picture at the end was the masterstroke of this tribute to your friend.

    • Thanks a lot Keshav.
      This is very close to my heart, and the picture at the end is something I’ll cherish all my life.

  20. love u..stay strong..

  21. There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.
    Keep working ,great job!

  22. Brought tears to my eyes. Voted

  23. Great post..Really touching..
    I can understand ur pain..coz I am through this situation…..

  24. Lovely post. Voted too.

  25. I think there could have not been a better entry for this contest. Because it comes from your heart. I voted too. God Bless you all.

  26. You know what, loss of a friend is bigger than any loss. I know the pain for I also have a similar story to share. His Facebook and LinkedIn profiles are still there and I remember the feeling when FB very proudly notified me this February that it was HIS birthday. RIP buddy.
    Beautifully written and expressed.

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